"Jennifer, which junk goes in which bag?" I asked and stared down at all the piles of Jen's clothes and accesories layed out on the guest bed.
"Um.. leave the clothes to me, but you can put all the books and stuff in my green pack-back over in the corner," she said and carried over a red travel bag.
Jen and I were helping each other pack for Europe.
"We're leaving tommorow!" I said excitingly.
"You told me already," Jennifer said with a smile.
"I know. I just can't help it though. Europe is so cool! And this is our first tour!"
"I feel your excitment," she said plainly.
"Wow! So much enthusiasm!"
"No, really. I'm excited. This is my first time going to Europe and it sounds fun. I get to travel to Paris with my boyfriend," she added and put on an innocent smile.
I laughed and tried imitating a french accent. Once all of Jennifer's piles and piles of unwanted stuff was crammed into her teeny tiny pack, I wandered out of her room and headed towards my room to do some packing of my own.
As I studied the many shirts in my drawer, I decided for a break and flipped on the computer. As the computer booted up, I managed to decide on my maroon adidas shirt and a comfortable blue shirt and I quickly stuffed it into my travel bag and jumped back into the computer chair.
I thought for a moment and then decided to log onto my private name after realizing that I wasn't in the mood to get bombed with instant messages and emails on MMMBop. First, I checked my mail and then logged on my hotmail account, which I used a whole lot more. I got more mail from friends there.
There was basically the mail from the usual people. I clicked on the first message, which was from Nancy.
... Once you get on (someday) instant message me. I'll be on, okay? Love ya, Cye...
That was what caught my attention. I logged off Jellybean307 and pulled up my buddy list. A huge grin spread across my face when I saw Nancy's screen name was logged on. I clicked on it and started up my IM request.
CrazyDude4: Would you like to die tonight?
After seeing Scream a couple of hundred times, I knew a line
like that would have to catch her attention.
SmerkyGrl: Who are you?
CrazyDude4: Somebody ready and waiting with a nife!
SmerkyGrl: Jen?
CrazyDude4: Who's Jen?
SmerkyGrl: Uh, Jess, is that you?
CrazyDude4: Not Jess
SmerkyGrl: Well, then who are you and what do you want?
CrazyDude4: To play a game
There was a pause and I leaned back with my feet resting on the computer table.
SmerkyGrl: Look, you outta tell me who you are before I report
you
CrazyDude4: Alright, okay... I'm someone you love :)
SmerkyGrl: ?
CrazyDude4: With long blonde hair, and blue eyes... I love to
sing! Does the description ring a bell?
SmerkyGrl: Taylor!!!!
CrazyDude4: Ding, ding, ding!!! We have a winner.
CrazyDude4: I scared you didn't I?
SmerkyGrl: nope
CrazyDude4: Come on, admit it
SmerkyGrl: I wasn't scared... just really pissed because you
wouldn't tell me who you were!
SmerkyGrl: Where R U?
CrazyDude4: T-town
SmerkyGrl: Is Ms. Weirdo there w/ U?
CrazyDude4: Yup, Jen's here
At that moment, it was a strange coincidence that Jen just happened to walk on into the room.
"Hey Mr. Wonderful! I'm all packed now."
"Hey Ms. Weirdo!" I replied when she stuck her arms around me and quickly gave me a peck on the cheek.
"Whats, this... CrazyDude4? Is that a new screen name?" she asked and stared at the paused conversation.
"Yea, I had to change my old name because too many fans figured it out."
"Well, it's not a surprise since you used your name in it," she said with a laugh.
"I should have guessed, but oh well."
"So, who are you talking to?"
"Nancy The Great!"
"Really? Cool! Scoot over," she exclaimed and shoved me in my seat so she could sit down. "I wanna talk!"
"Okay, okay," I gave in and placed the keyboard in front of Jen.
CrazyDude4: Hey Nance... this is Jennifer!!!!!
SmerkyGrl: Hey!
SmerkyGrl: What's cooking?
CrazyDude4: Nothing much. I just finished packing for Europe
SmerkyGrl: *pouts* TAKE ME!!!! PLEASE?
CrazyDude4: sorry, can't... hehehe
SmerkyGrl: Grrrrr!!!!! I HATE U!
CrazyDude4: No U don't, U just hate being left behind
SmerkyGrl: I hate being abandoned by Tay
I smiled. "Aww, she still thinks of me!"
"Of course she does," Jennifer said and typed in a few more lines.
We spent most of that afternoon chatting with friends online. Well, it was mostly Jennifer, until I chased her off the chair with a quick shove. She glared up at me from the floor as I put on an innocent look and chatted with friends that I knew who lived in Tulsa.
After a few moments of relaxing on the carpet, she took off down the hall and returned a few moments later with my lap-top.
"I should have guessed!" I sighed and watched her log on.
Jennifer's name popped up on my buddy list and I immediately received her request.
JennyPoosy: This is what you get for pushing me off your chair!
CrazyDude4: Hey! You're directly next to me. We can talk, can't
we?
JennyPoosy: Uh-huh, I can talk. I just want to go ONLINE! Now,
if you'll excuse me, I want to talk to a few of my
friends in peace.
JennyPoosy: C-ya in reality!!!!
CrazyDude4: Great.. I'm sure
JennyPoosy: Tootles!
CrazyDude4: Uh-huh
JennyPoosy: XOXOXOXOXO
CrazyDude4: :)
After I updated Hansonline quickly, I logged off and shut down the computer. Jennifer didn't even glance up. It didn't look like she was ready to stop anytime soon so I shrugged and left the room with my bags.
"Oh, great, Taylor! You're packed!" my dad said once I'd made it out to the family room.
"Yup, now what should I do with this thing?" I asked, refering to my luggage.
"Just put it with the others," he replied and pointed to a small corner filled with bags.
I groaned and dragged my heavy bag across the floor where Ike and Zac had already left their stuff.
"Taylor! Move! I can't see the TV!" my sister, Jessica, squealed from the couch.
"Geeze, hold on. I'm just putting my bags here," I defended myself and moved over a bit.
"Taylor!" It was Avery this time.
I sighed and hopped out of the way.
"Tay, you're-" I heard the small voice of little Mackie.
"I know, I'm in the way," I finished for him and hurried out of the room. I almost expected little Zoe to squeal at me too, but she just layed there in her fold up crib, staring up at the ceiling.
* * *
I had trouble sleeping that night. I just couldn't close my eyes and go to sleep. I just couldn't! Maybe it was the butterflies in my stomach, but I don't know what there is to be nervous about.
I was also feeling excited. The two feelings were mixed together in one confusing blob that I just couldn't take!
Isaac and I were camped out on my bunk with the light dimmed. Zac had already ventured into the land of nod. He was out like a light, and stretched out across his trundle bed.
"Taylor, what's wrong?" Ike asked when he saw my worried expression.
"Ike, to tell you the truth... I don't know," I admitted and leaned back against my pillow.
Isaac sighed. "Taylor, if we're cautious enough, the fans won't find out about you and Jennifer."
I snapped out of my trance and shot Isaac a confused look.
"No, it's not that! I'm not worried about that. Jen and I are fine. Infact, I'm taking her for a short day tour in France when we get there. Everything is going to be so cool!" I sighed deeply and fingered the sun choker strapped around my neck.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Tay, if you aren't the least bit worried about keeping a girlfriend a secret, then what are you worried about?" he pestered.
"I... I... I don't know!" I said with a huge shrug. "I'm just... not feeling very good right now."
"It's the tour isn't it," Isaac said plainly. It wasn't a questions, it was a statement.
I nodded. "I guess so. I mean, I'm really, really excited about going through with our very first official tour... but on the other hand, what if something goes wrong? What if we totally screw up on stage or something? What if the worst happens? What if-"
"Woah! Hold it. Tay, look, nothing is going to happen. Sure, I'm not exactly Mr. Perfect right now either. I've been getting those same worries, but look at it this way. If we do mess up, even just once, it might even turn out to be something that we'll look back at and laugh at! Besides, our fans will be there for us. Trust me, I really doubt anything seriously bad will go wrong."
I didn't have anything to say to that. Ike had just said it all. Everything that I had wanted to be able to spill out to someone looking up to me. But instead, Isaac had said it all and gotten ahead of me. It helped too. At least I knew that I wasn't alone.
My brothers would be there! Me, Ike, and Zac - a team! A band! Best friends forever! We could pull through.
But that floppy feeling just wouldn't leave me. I'd played in front of millions of people millions of times before so why was I suddenly afraid to do that now?